Abortion, Adoption and Infertility - My Imperfect View

Abortion, Adoption, Fostering and Giving me all the babies


I know that so many of these topics can be taboo, or seen as an attack against whichever personal beliefs that you may hold; but, I assure you, I have no ill-intent or attitudes to whomever goes against what I have to say. As a mom of 4 children, and a grown woman that not only didn’t used to be a Christian, but was a teenager for a short but intense part of my life.


I understand that people fight for the right of women to make choices over their own bodies - and who could argue against that? Of course none of us want any sort of intrusion on our personal space, our bodies ; to be forced into doing something we wouldn’t want to do. I get that.


As a survivor of rape and abuse, friends, I get that probably more than you could know.


But also as a survivor of abuse, personal attacks towards my space, my freedom, my choices - sexual abuse that stained my very soul - I felt attacks not only towards me, but to my very life. My life - as in - I don’t want to die. Not my life as in - well this will be an embarrassment, an inconvenience - a problem I can handle with a quick solution of surgery.


I believe life is so very important. SO VERY IMPORTANT. Maybe you guys that are listening out there or reading this blog post don’t have the belief that we are all created in God’s image - but the bible does say that God created them - man and woman he created them - in His image.


Maybe you don’t think I get it - that I couldn’t possibly understand what it would be like for a rape survivor to come to terms with carrying a child born of rape - or wed-lock - or undesireable timing.


But you cannot deny the beauty that there is in a newborn babe - the helplessness - the softness - the newness. The opportunity to pour love into their lives in a way that maybe you had not received. A small foretaste of heaven when you smell the top of their newborn head - when you see their first smile, their first steps - their first laugh.


And there are so many families out there that would love to love that baby. So many women and men that would care for that child and die FOR that child if they were given the opportunity.


I do think, however, that before women and teens can make the difficult decision of whether to carry the baby to term or not, to make the choice on whether to adopt or raise that child as their own, there needs to be MUCH more support and care and understanding for women in these situations.


When a teen and her boyfriend have sex out of marriage - and he decides he doesn’t want to help her or do anything about it - or their relationship ends before they know they are pregnant - it is the GIRL that is left with the tarnished reputation or the negative feedback. It is the woman that has a visible sign of new created life inside of her - and it is the lady that is looked at - and depending on her status, her age, her income -level, her clothing - that woman is either fawned over or frowned upon.


When Evan and I were first married, he had already known from the very beginning that I wanted as many children as God would give me - and he was satisfied with two children or three maximum if it were up to him.


About 6 months into our marriage, though, Evan was definitely not ready to have babies yet, I still wanted to go and have a lady -parts checkup - I wanted to see if everything was okay with my body and my uterus and all that jazz to make sure I could get pregnant when my husband and I both agreed it was a good time.


After the appointment, the ob/gyn told me that I had severe PCOS - polycystic ovarian syndrome - where there are many cysts all over your ovaries that lessens your chances of becoming pregnant because of the alteration in hormone levels, the effect on your period regularity, and even the lack of released eggs to even become fertilized in the first place. She told me that my chances of getting pregnant were slim-to-none.


I was punched in the stomach. I didn’t understand it. How could this happen?! My dream of having children with my husband was shattered!

I called Evan and he came home from work because I just could not stop crying. We didn’t understand why God would put the idea of having many children on my heart, but then not to provide a way in doing so.


We prayed that night - we prayed that God would show us why I would have that strong desire - and why I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant. And Evan and I decided that we would foster all the children ever! We could be parents of like 300 children in the greater Richmond area haha.

I felt calmer knowing that there would be a way that I could not only have my dream of a large family, but I had the support of my sweet husband, and it would be a way to glorify God.


Fast forward several months - Evan, though he was working on multiple degrees and trying to apply for new jobs and our income was very low - had agreed that we should at least SEE if we could get pregnant by at least just trying - and letting it happen if it were to happen. We prayed that God would let us have a baby.


And God answered that prayer! I think we were pregnant just the second month into trying to conceive! And we couldn’t believe it! I was really worried though - which may sound weird - but I was worried that Evan would be upset with me for getting pregnant so soon!

Of course, he wasn’t. He was just in a state of absolute shock.

We then prayed that, if God would allow it, that this baby could be a little girl. And He gave us a GIRL! He didn’t even have to give us ONE baby - but now our prayers were answered ten-fold!~


We now have 4 children - all biological, and all wonderful. My listeners will know that 2 of these children have autism, one has a genetic growth disorder, and one has hypotonia. None of these would be the “perfect cookie-cutter kids” that you could pick from a shop window for some people. And the difficulties of raising these babies are numerous. But the joy and foretaste of heaven that we receive as a family when we really show one-another love is immeasurable.


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